Copyright © 2012 Shane C Gray. All rights reserved. Poetic Ramblings • Posts Tagged ‘Crack’

God damn mind blowing

It would suck to be GOD. Think about it:

1. God created the earth…our home as a speices…right? And now we expect him to solve all of our problems. If you walked up to the carpenter who built (created) your house (Home as an individual), started telling him all of your life issues, expecting him to fix them…he would look at you like you’re smoking crack. 

2. God is the biggest victim of the creative misquote ever…can you even imagine the libel suits?


3. He’s God…and nobody can get his damn name right. Is it God…Yaweh…Allah? Jesus Christ…I hate it when people call me Sean and I’m no God. People can pronounce Fairuza Balk…but they can’t pronounce God?

4. The biggest cop out of all time is “God made man in his own image…so if I’m flawed it’s gods fault.” Not so…he made the first edition this is true, but most of that particular product line since has been cheap knock offs produced by predominately unskilled labor.

5. If you lose faith in yourself as a human being you become depressed and probably see a Shrink. If you lose faith in yourself as God…YOU BECOME AN ATHEIST!!! As a Shrink…how would you treat a deppressed diety with Clinical Atheism?

WELCOME TO BIGOTRY BURGER…MAY I HATE YOUR ORDER PLEASE?

I have either read, or heard at least 25 rants about Chic-Fil-A over the last couple of weeks…I have even posted one of the graphics myself…but I am getting a little bit tired of people lecturing me about how every time I buy a Chic-Fil-A I’m eating bigotry and hatred. I have a few things to say Here: 

1) I haven’t eaten Chic-Fil-A sandwich in like 10 months so you are preaching to the choir folks. 

2) Bigotry and hate must be the ultimate Chicken marinade…because Goddamn those sandwiches are yummy. 

3) Please recognize that I have been foregoing tasty goodness longer than most of you have even known there was an issue (Mostly because my friend/roomie Chris is big time into the gay rights movement and filled me in). I share your beliefs on this issue…but if you keep it up I am going to bring a Chic-Fil-A family pack to the next Pride fest planning meeting just to say fuck you. Every time you give me one of your lectures…I just get hungry okay? That’s like walking up to a newly recovered junkie and yelling “CRACK IS BAD!!!” over and over again. All he’s really hearing is “CRACK….CRACK….CRACK.” Consider me in Hate-Sandwich Anonymous and stop reminding me of my addiction.

4) Try to see the irony in a guy named Cathy crusading against gay rights and cut him a little slack. The poor man is named Cathy…he’s probably been getting gay jokes his entire life…and he’s straight.

5) If you want to do something really productive…buy one of their businesses with out mentioning your sexual orientation…and then change the sign to “Chic-For-Gay”. You can put cows in drag on your sign, and actually spell shit properly. That would have a bigger effect on things than a mountain of petitions and a hundred boycott rallies…and if they try to sue you? EVEN BETTER…HELLO TV NEWS!!!

(I am not implying that every gay man is a drag queen with item five…I just think it would be a nice little fuck you…lol)