WELCOME TO BIGOTRY BURGER…MAY I HATE YOUR ORDER PLEASE?
I have either read, or heard at least 25 rants about Chic-Fil-A over the last couple of weeks…I have even posted one of the graphics myself…but I am getting a little bit tired of people lecturing me about how every time I buy a Chic-Fil-A I’m eating bigotry and hatred. I have a few things to say Here:
1) I haven’t eaten Chic-Fil-A sandwich in like 10 months so you are preaching to the choir folks.
2) Bigotry and hate must be the ultimate Chicken marinade…because Goddamn those sandwiches are yummy.
3) Please recognize that I have been foregoing tasty goodness longer than most of you have even known there was an issue (Mostly because my friend/roomie Chris is big time into the gay rights movement and filled me in). I share your beliefs on this issue…but if you keep it up I am going to bring a Chic-Fil-A family pack to the next Pride fest planning meeting just to say fuck you. Every time you give me one of your lectures…I just get hungry okay? That’s like walking up to a newly recovered junkie and yelling “CRACK IS BAD!!!” over and over again. All he’s really hearing is “CRACK….CRACK….CRACK.” Consider me in Hate-Sandwich Anonymous and stop reminding me of my addiction.
4) Try to see the irony in a guy named Cathy crusading against gay rights and cut him a little slack. The poor man is named Cathy…he’s probably been getting gay jokes his entire life…and he’s straight.
5) If you want to do something really productive…buy one of their businesses with out mentioning your sexual orientation…and then change the sign to “Chic-For-Gay”. You can put cows in drag on your sign, and actually spell shit properly. That would have a bigger effect on things than a mountain of petitions and a hundred boycott rallies…and if they try to sue you? EVEN BETTER…HELLO TV NEWS!!!
(I am not implying that every gay man is a drag queen with item five…I just think it would be a nice little fuck you…lol)
