Of course…this is just my theory…there’s no reason to get all hystorical
They say you should always know your history because he who does not know his history is condemned to repeat it. The problem is…history is written by the winner, and is therefore never accurate due to the obscene slant that is put on it. Facts are omitted, images are polished up, and all of the sudden the fascist warlord becomes the plucky revolutionary hero who ousted an oppressive dictator. It turns out that he who simply learns the common interpretation of history without doing any independent research is oft still doomed to repeat it.
This is where the conspiracy theorists come in. The problem with them is…they don’t know the truth, they simply recognize the shape of the lie. Knowing the shape of a lie can be useful as it allows you to see the rough shape of the truth that said lie is concealing, but this gives you nothing but broad strokes with no real facts or details. It is nothing more than base speculation at best and fraught with misinterpretation. It is comparable to throwing a sheet over a compact car. The sheet conceals the truth of the car underneath it. The shape of the sheet will hint at the shape of the car below, but it won’t tell which one of the hundreds of compact cars with similar shapes that it really is…leaving one to guess. It is an educated guess, but still a guess nonetheless in absence of any hard evidence. The most useful thing the shape of the sheet can do is tell you what is not under it. If I were to tell you it’s a pick-up truck, or an eighteen wheeler, or a Jeep…you would know I was lying. The biggest problem here is that most people are lazy, and therefore willing to believe that if you cover a Jeep with a drop cloth it may end up looking like a Honda Accord. We do this to avoid thinking about things beyond the scope of our everyday lives…leaving us time to fill our brains with celebrity gossip and moral outrage over a chicken sandwich. Every once in a while a person comes along who has owned that exact model of compact car, and knows that it’s an Accord and what do we say? We say “Can’t be…nope…not an Accord…I’m pretty sure it’s a Miata under there.”
Don’t believe me? Here is an example for you. The National Defense Authorization act was drafted, voted on, passed, and signed off on by the president before most Americans even knew it had been written. Why? Because you were all so distracted by the political sideshow that was the Herman Cain scandal that you failed to see the actual main event until it had already been passed in the senate with a vote of 93 to 7. It’s sleight of hand folks. Politics is one big game of find the lady so keep your eyes on the prize, and tell me which card the queen is…oh and try not to think about how high the stakes are while you’re at it. In the case of the NDAA the stakes were a few of your constitutionally guaranteed freedoms, including the first and second ammendments. I myself wrote about the Herman Cain scandal…once. I wrote endless blog posts and facebook notes editoriallizing the National Defense Authorization act including it’s subclauses and riders. You guys ate up the one Herman Cain post, but when I told you about the National Defense Authorization act you said “Nope….it’s a Miata.” Why? Because politics are boring, gossip is more fun, and most of you didn’t know that I was raised on politics or that I take a keen (though often silent) interest in it. Essentially…I have owned that car before. That is the real conspiracy right there folks. The conspiracy isn’t a bunker full of aliens at area 51, or who was on what grassy knoll. The conspiracy is not only getting you to buy the lie. The conspiracy is getting you to be willing to sell it to yourself. The policy is to say what you want to hear loudly, say what you need to hear softly, and to keep records of both in case they have a used car owner in the audience who sees the shape under the sheet for the what it really is, and calls bullshit on the“Miata Theory”. It is a conspiracy of the mind promoting mediocrity and idiocracy so that the standard citizen is too lazy, dumb, or preoccupied to recognize the shape of the lie. If you think about it….the consipracy…the lie if you will…is nothing but mind rape, but even there we run into a major problem. Want to know what it is? Most of you let it happen, and as it goes “You can’t rape the willing.” The ones who don’t just let it happen usually go to the other extreme and form wingnut conspracy theories about how JFK was actually fucked to death by an alien prostitute in an Elvis costume and was already dead by the time they shot him. This works in their favor as well since you make them look more valid by making yourself look like a crazy asshole.
Now you may ask yourself “Who are they? Who is this they of which he speaks?” I’ll give you a hint…for the most part it’s not the CIA, the NSA, or any other three letter combo in the alphabet soup. For the most part your answer can be found in the mirror. The government has an agenda, the Press has been manipulated, and history is written by the winners, but that’s nothing new. That is some “since the dawn of man” type shit there folks. We all know that shit already. We just refuse to acknowledge it when things are going well because it’s inconvenient…leaving us uneducated, and underprepared when the fit hits the shan. The only way to even approach truly knowing your history is to read what the winner has to say, reasearch what the loser had to say, find the similarities, discard the glarring differences, and do more research to fill in the gaps (It’s never all in one place conveniently waiting for you). Now throw all three into a large bowl, add three table spoons of common goddamn sense and mix well. That may get you close to the truth, but you will still never know if it’s accurate. You want to know what the only way to really know the truth about history is? Get off of your lazy ass and start making it yourself, and then when you put your own slant on the facts and become the plucky hero you have always wanted to be…you will still know the truth that your childrens children will never read about in history class.
